yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
