Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
