love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
