Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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