Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
