Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
