Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
