Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I pour the whiskey from now on
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