it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
