mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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