Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Randomize
