why didn't you poke me back
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
