the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
