I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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