D3 body, D1 cock
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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