Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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