People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I understand Curling. That high.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
