I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
