singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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