I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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