i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
