i think my tv is drunk
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
