one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
