Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You ruined the universe
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
