Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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