Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
