I must be too annoying 4 u.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
