I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
