Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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