I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
