so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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