Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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