All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Fuck appropriateness.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
