Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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