Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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