Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
