I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
worst night to have a conscience
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
