Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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