i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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