watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
