I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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