When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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