chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
