So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my being single is dangerous.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
