we're blogging at a bar
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
