At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
a search helicopter?!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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