I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
