That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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