So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
