So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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