I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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