dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
