Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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