I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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