apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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