Welp...herpes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
