it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
