fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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