College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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