"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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