Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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