O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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