I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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