I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
where does the pee come out of this thing
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
