trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire